My interpretation of the purpose in understanding and accepting life after death.
Ever since I was a child I always ‘felt’ something one was standing just behind me, or just on the border of my peripheral vision. It terrified me. As I matured the feelings seemed to go away and it wasn’t until my children were grown up that the ‘feelings’ returned.
If you had asked me what these feelings were, I couldn’t have put it into adequate words. It was as though someone was standing so close to me I could feel their breath, sense their thoughts. The hairs on the back of my neck would rise, but when I turned no one was there.
One night I was woken by my name being called. At first I thought it was my imagination and I went back to sleep, but within minutes the voice shouted again. In my sleep fogged state I thought it could be one of the children calling me. I didn’t realise at the time that they wouldn’t be calling me ‘Margaret.’ After I had checked the bedrooms and seen the children fast asleep, I became confused. I rationalised that it could have been my husband dreaming and calling out to me.
I went back to bed satisfied with my own explanation only to we woken again by the insistent calling. After a week of sleepless nights I told my mother, who had been a spiritualist for many years, what was happening. She told me it could be the disembodied voices of spirit people calling out to me. I didn’t actually believe her. Dead people couldn’t talk, never mind call out to me.
The voices continued to call out, especially at night. It would happen anywhere. While shopping, watching the TV or just when I was writing my novels. My name would be shouted out as clear as the birds singing outside my window. But I rationalised it as my imagination. I didn’t believe there was such a thing as life after death.
Finally, the calling became so insistent that I had to confront it. So, albeit reluctantly, I went to a spiritualist church. Once there I was incredulous to discover I was sitting with a group of people who had similar experiences as me. I thought my purpose for being there was to understand what the voices were and why they were calling out to me. I think the higher purpose was for me to understand how to use the psychic gifts I already had.
The greatest way to combat fear is to confront it. I was scared to admit there could be life after death, because that would mean that ghosts did in fact exist. But there is a saying, “Knowledge is a gift to be admired.” Over the years I've gained a lot of knowledge and now I'm no longer afraid, just very intrigued.